It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
