I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
