never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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