I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
