found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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