Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
