There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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