ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Randomize
