She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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