Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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