I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
