hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
