Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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