Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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