Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
