It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
