I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I wish you could order shots online.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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