I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
