I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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