You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
