I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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