So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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