Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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