I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
