Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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