Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
