So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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