OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
