Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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