Can Purell be used as lube?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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