He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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