Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
