Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
