Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We need to rekindle our bromance
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize