Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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