Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
