Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm just crazy horny about you
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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