I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize