I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
