I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
it's like heaven, but drunker
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Randomize