she looked like the before picture.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize