Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize