Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
