girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize