so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
