do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
