singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
