did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
