we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
