We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize