bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
