yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
