Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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