Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Is it penis luge time yet?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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