doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
