I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
