i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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