i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
