I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
