He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
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