Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
